Mama Liz's Journal
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10.1.03 - 12.31.03
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9.1.05 - 10.31.05
11.1.05 - 12.31.05
9.07.05
Date: Sep 7, 2005 4:56 AM
Subject: Preschool cows
To: Everyone
I think I've mentioned that sometimes I feel as if I'm living in a
National Geographic special. Then there are other times it feels more
like a Three Stooges marathon. So let me tell you what Curly, Larry and Moe
have been up to.
Remember our cows, Sally and Veronica, who were supposed to be pregnant? Well they're not. Just another bovine pregnancy scare I guess. We decided to get them ensemenated. Apparently the percentages are better. How do I know! But given how some men treat women here, I'm sure the cows will appreciate our decision. So while we wait (for what I'm not sure) life continues as normal.
Preschool goes on every day. It's amazing how little a kid can know. But then we're not awash with information here like in the US. However' they're cute and sweet, and they're learning fast. My Kiswahili is improving along with their English. So now I can talk to anyone under six.
We had to have some classes outside last week( remember we've been painting the dining room/classroom).((Insert DSCO 1459. Caption:Outside preschool is fun in the sunshine but not so much in the rain. Besides the kids keep wandering off))
In the middle of all this, one of the preschool teachers (Curly), decides to bring her boy cow to meet our girl cow in hopes of a love connection. This up to now has been unrevealed to me, happily teaching in my clean, new, freshly painted clinic/classroom.
So we're inside working on our ABCs and I notice a cow (Sally) runs by the window, narrowly missing the other preschool kids who are outside working on their ABCs . Then another, unfamiliar cow runs by in hot pursuit of the first cow (Sally). OK. So now I'm interested and I go outside to find out who this cow is and WHY ARE THEY IN THE PRESCHOOL.
I'm informed, but the class is done anyway, because we need to herd (pun very intended) the rest of the kids inside. Now all of us just stop and sit on the veranda to see how this all plays out. Larry and Moe are chasing the cows up and down the yard. Then Sally, with whom I have a close sisterly relationship, stops near me and I grab her rope and give her to one of the little kids. (They are amazing with the cows.) That leaves only Sally's intended boyfriend (donor?) on the loose.
Apparently, they had him for a minute or two, tied to a 6-foot pole. I know this to be true because eventually the boy cow stampedes by, dragging the pole and Moe with him, and(Larry following close behind). ((Insert DSCO 1540. Caption; I must be nuts but I live for moments like this)) Finally all the livestock is collected and I go down to talk to Sally. I notice that sometime in this whole fiasco, she's broken her gate so now is tied up in her pen while the gate swings back and forth in the breeze. And was there a love connection? Absolutely not, and we're still waiting for the vet to come by with the sperm.
On to the kids, who are mostly doing fine. Those of you from Kaiser will remember (how can you forget?) those years when I was raising my boys. Remember how calm it got when they all grew up? I had about a year of peace and quiet. I guess something snapped in my brain because now I live with 20 teenagers. And most of them are happily having lots of unprotected sex with each other. Had them all HIV tested, all negative, asante Mungu. Have to go to Tukuyu for the gonorrhea test.
So now we have 300 condoms donated to us by my good friend, Dr Kwita. He has a bucket of free condoms in his office but he said we can have them because very few of the villagers will use them. I've got half, Elia has the other half. So far nobody here has used one. According to the doc, who should know, about 40% of the folks in the village are positive. I believe this because of the number of funerals that occur each week. So once again I'm in the business of protecting teenagers from themselves.
Eight minutes left, just time enough for a shameless plea for funds. We need to fix the kitchen. It's unhealthy and smoky, and has almost no ventilation. Total revamp with new stove (we need special bricks for efficient cooking) and chimney and tables and storage is just over 1000 USD, a good price. If anyone wants to help, I'd greatly appreciate it, not to mention our cooks. You can put money directly into my account at Bank of America. I'll write back with the account number if anyone doesnt have it anymore.
So thanks in advance, and if you can't help, thats ok too. I have to get
some oranges and tacks and go home. I love you all.
Mama Liz

9.28.05
Date: Sep 28, 2005 4:21 AM
Subject: Suicidal bus drivers
To: Everyone
Jambo, habari gani? Just got back from vacation. I took a week in Dar es Salaam,
courtesy of my good friend Vic (from the Lundy Foundation).((Insert DSC00788, caption; Working together.))
Stayed at the Holiday Inn. Had a TV, a good bed and an actual bathtub with actual hot running water. My
feet got so clean they were pink. Ate loads of food. Best of all
was the dessert table with three items per night. I have to say I tried
them all, and they were all good. Really good.
(( InsertDSCO1653; view of the mosque from the Jambo Inn, where you can get a room for 8 bucks but 25 for a room with AC. I opted for the AC))((Insert DSCO 1790; these giraffe sculptures are all over Dar es Salaam. Huge and lovely))
Another friend bought the kids a boatload of books and things, so now we have an actual library, and the kids are loving it. Every night they're in my room reading and playing games. It's so cool.
Back to my holiday...as usual, getting there is the real adventure. I was going to title this email Homicidal Bus Drivers, but really, there's no way he'd survive the crash either so I must assume a death wish on his part. It was obvious to me that he was driving too fast, but that's normal here so I was just relaxing and listening to a cd.
Then I noticed that all the other passengers/victims were siting up straight and watching the front. Turns out, we're about two feet from a petrol truck, and gaining fast. Fortunately, we came to a curve, or a hill. I forget which. Curves and hills are the national signal to pass at a high rate of speed, so we did. During the pass, it's imperative that the driver jerk the wheel and press hard on the gas. Otherwise, the overhead luggage will remain in place, God forbid. As it happens, the locals are fast and alert, so when the bags go FLYING THROUGH THE AIR, someone usually catches them. All in all, we passed about six petrol trucks. After the third one, I rededicated my life to God. So here I am.
By the time we stopped for lunch the passengers had started complaining, so the driver must have been going faster than even I had thought. Passengers here rarely complain, as there are few other options available. Those that are available are just as hazardous.
Usually when I'm on safari I try to stick to packaged food. It's safer and all the salt helps retain water so you dont need to pee so often. I also try not to drink too much. The bathrooms are few and horrific. The bush stops are fewer (but less odorous).
Everyone else was eating and I was bored so I figured why not. I got some chicken and rice. The rice was ok, I mean how can you screw up rice? But the minute the chicken hit my mouth I realized this poor bugger had died a slow, unnatural, and most likely, infectious death. I have never seen or smelled meat so rancid. I went in to return it and tell him it was bad and he looks at me with this big stupid grin on his face and asks do I want to have the fish instead? What a dilemma. Death by fish or poultry? "No, you twit, I want my money back". So I scrub my tongue about 50 times and get back on the bus hoping there wasn't enough shigella on my lunch to kill me. Maybe I'll just get a little sick, and I hope I don't get sick before I get home. But I'm ok, Asante Mungu.. I think I'm developing immunities.
Don't know if I mentioned that I finally killed my rat. He was a worthy opponent, and I must admit, I have, or had, a certain respect for him. He was wily and evasive, but he went too far. He actually took up residence in my purse which is on my table right next to my head. At night, I'd hear him munching and scurrying. Enough. So I got some rat poison from a guy in town who sells it on the street and sounds like he eats it for breakfast. I mixed it with some of the rat's favorite food (peanut butter). The next morning, he was lying by my bed, peacefully dead, all curled up, nice and quiet. Life is good, but I'm beginning to think I need a hobby.
The kids are fine, happy and disease free, for now. Reweighed them last
week or so when I rewormed. All but about three kids gained considerable
weight. So good for them. Five minutes left. Whoever put the large donation
in my account, thank you. Next email I'll tell you all what we've been building.
Max, write to me, and find out about the visa bill ok? Everyone take care. I love you all.
MamaLiz

10.17.05
Date: Oct 17, 2005 12:01 AM
Subject: Bartering for Circumcisions
To: Everyone
Jambo. You know that I’ve been a night shift person most of my life, so I’m not exactly thrilled to have 58 kids in my office early in the morning. But I do need to pass out pens, pencils and meds before they go to school, as well as smearing ringworm cream on their little heads. So I’m leaning out the window one morning last week greeting the kids and exacting promises from the little buggers to bring back my pens after school and I notice my Rama standing in the back, waiting patiently.
Me: "Jambo, Rama, unataca nini"?(What do you want?)
Rama: "Madam, I want a circumcision".
Me: "Well OK, but for right now, how about a pen, or a Tylenol? And do you want fries with that"?
Turns out most of the boys haven’t been, and want to be. We arranged it with the doctor (this is not a skill to which I aspire) So off they went; heads high, strong proud young men of Africa. They came back the same way, but then the novacaine wore off and now they're sitting on the porch wrapped in kitangas (local sarong type cloth for women), looking like nothing but sad, sore boys in dresses.
Anyway, they’re too cute, and they look great in the kitangas. Some wear them around their waist, some knotted behind their necks, I’ve got pictures to commemorate. The doc owes me 50 bucks, so he’s doing the circs free till I’m paid off. That's 17 circs @ 3 bucks each. Such a deal.
All the kids are good. Their heads look great. The daily dettol (disinfectant) wash is paying off. Remember we have a women's group on Thursday. It’s a good group, growing every week,(barring funerals of which there are a lot unfortunately). Last week, nine of us went to Mbeya for Norplant insertion and lunch, sort of a girls day out. Brunch and Birth control. Anyway, they are so thrilled, and now loads of women want the implants. The great thing is the men are agreeing. Women can’t get implants without husband consent (hiss-hiss). But that’s the way it is here, so I’m just happy they’re coming around. One couple was so happy about the implants, the woman came by and gave me a big bag of potatoes. Nice huh? She and her husband have ten kids and probably needed the potatoes more than I do, but it was a gift and sweetly given.
Last week I got to name a baby, which is a great honor. A little boy. I named him Pono, the Hawaiian word for righteous. It sounds African, so that was fun. Preschool is still rolling along, kids are learning the abcs and 123s but it’s hard work. We are the only stimulus around. Some of the parents aren’t too supportive. We asked the preschool parents for 500-1000 shillings per month so we can feed their kids, many of whom come to school without breakfast and fall asleep. So far, only one parent has come through. 1000 shillings is about a buck. Some have it, but that also buys alot of pombe so there you go.
I’m having abandonment issues about leaving. I may have to return in January. Don’t really want to but I spend money like I’ve got it and it’s running low. So I may be home after Christmas. I can support the kids from Oregon, just send money monthly. I’m having guilt already about who will take care of them when I leave. Childhood, or what passes for childhood here, is short and brutal. The kids have it good at the Center, so I’m looking for someone to replace me for a while. If there’s another burned out nurse over there who wants to live in relative filth with 58 kids, send me an email. The pay sucks, the bathroom reeks, and the kids use their shirts for handkerchiefs. But they’re very cute and you eat for free (not always an incentive). Applications accepted up until the moment I leave, and thereafter as well.
The kitchen is almost finished and it’s fabulous, smoke-free and woman-friendly. Two weeks ago we sent Martha, our oldest, off to school. She didn’t pass her leaving exam for secondary school. But, that’s no surprise given that some of the teachers rarely show up for class. There’s a private school in Mbeya, St Marys. It’s an international school— very good, accredited and everything. They have a commitment to orphans so they take our poorly educated girls and work with them until they’re up to speed. Very cool. So Martha is there, and we'll keep sending them as long as we have to. It’s cheap. About $900 per year, everything included.
I’ll be setting up an education fund when I get back. Of course, this will involve more shameless pleas for funds but that’s in the future. Don’t get nervous. Will be sending four boys to the vocational school in January. Only 250 or so bucks per year for everything, and it’s accredited. If you guys could only understand how far money goes here. My time is up, and I’m sure you all have other things to do, so take care. Nakupenda. Mama Liz

10.31.05
Date: Oct 31, 2005 12:01 AM
Subject: Circumcision Part 2, or why is there a penis on my desk?
To: Everyone
I am just too sick of this whole circumcision episode. I tried my
best to be understanding. After all, I don't have personal knowledge in
this area. However how long must meals be served en suite to the
recently snipped? Ten days I'm sure is excessive. And I'm sure it's ok to
bathe once or twice . AND I am absolutely positive that three dressing
changes per day for eight boys is too much.
They overstayed their welcome in my clinic. They acted like the fate of the entire population of Idweli rested in their genitals. So I told them that I was tired of looking at their adolescent hoohaws and they could just learn to do the dressing changes themselves. I went on the old "See one, do one, teach one" theory.
Afterwards, I went to my room to get some much needed caffiene. Upon my return, I see Baraka Kubwa folding his gauze bandage with his penis propped on my desk. Nsolo, Hamisi and Rama preparing to follow his lead. I mean really.
We still have six kids left who want their manhood rights, but they can wait
till my replacement arrives. I've had enough. Then they went to the doctor
to ask when they could start using their new (and according to them, improved)
genitals. He told them they have to wait six months or they'll need
restitching. Too funny. So that's that.


Tanzania circumcision chic.
Ahadi, Hamisi and Baraka post circumcision. They've wrapped their bedsheets around themselves,
no pants for 10 days. Tanzania circumcision chic.
I have some possibilities for replacement coming from the US. I'm working on that as we speak. Remember I said we got kubwa sana donations recently? Well, we've begun building the two new preschool buildings. The teachers are very, very excited. It's been difficult teaching three classes in one room. It's so noisy that if you sit quietly, I'm sure you can hear us where you are.
Ernest and the boys are making the bricks, about 200 per day, so we should be finished with the walls in a couple weeks. Maybe. Sometimes things take a while here. We are in negotiations for some land adjacent to the center. We'll use that for the volunteer house and put some under cultivation.
We need to grow some of our own food, or ideally most of it. Lots of projects of late. We have a couple of piglets now, which we will sell, eat or breed, or a combination thereof.
And speaking of visas, well, let's speak of visas. Mine has expired. I'm illegal in Tanzania. Why do I always end up illegal in Africa? I'll tell you why. I have provided the immigration dept with everything they asked for, but I won't pay the bribes. And the longer it takes, the more people get involved, and that means more bribes. The line for mzungu money is growing weekly. I'm not paying. Ive told them this many times. I'll go to jail before I'll pay these idiots one red shilling. Should be interesting to see how this plays out. I'm not worried, don't you be.
We're up to 58 kids now. We can probably go to 60 or so before we need to start refusing, which I hate to think about.
The village loves the center. They can't do for these kids what we do, and we all know it. But lately they've begun taking their kids on Saturday morning, returning them on Sunday afternoon. So wonderful for everyone. It's been quiet these last two weekends with 3/4 of the kids gone. With the small numbers left, we've been able to do special stuff, like cookies and more meat, so it's been good. Must be careful though. If word gets out, nobody will leave. Then we're back where we started. It's a fine line we walk.
Saw some of the kids in the village this Sunday. They looked fine, dirty and ragged, but they look like that here, so who cares. I don't think they get fed as well at home. In fact, I know so, but we feed them well and its good for them to see their bibis and babus. I just hope they don't give them too much pombe. So far nobody's returned on Sunday afternoon even mildly hammered so asante Mungu.
I have a meeting later today, so this is me saying goodbye. Everyone
take care and write to me. Do you know I just found out what Britney Spears
named her baby? I'm info starved, apparently indiscriminately so.
Nakupenda. M Liz